Thrice Bound
by Nehan Shinzui34
Summary: Prompt. Loki could never understand how to choose between what would make him happy and what would keep him safe. But in the House of Asgard, there is little room for choices. Not when Thor desires something. Thor/Loki Balder/Loki dubcon, possession
1. Chapter 1

Thrice Bound by Nehan Shinzui

a/n: So, I'm totally obsessed with Thor and norsekink now...hence...This is based on a prompt on norsekink, that I just had to fill. :)

Prompt:**AU Servant of the household!Loki, Balder/Loki, Thor/Loki**

**So let's say Asgard is a huge sprawling mansion and Odin and Frigga are the rich, almost aristocratic parents of Thor and Balder. Let us also say that Loki is one of the lower servant boys (stable boy? Favorite horse Sleipnir?) who is often beaten by the higher servants for not doing things right or for simply being different.**

And Loki, though often beaten and dirtied, is a beautiful young boy all the same.

Balder responds to this fact by being tender and sweet and helping Loki with his injuries and generally innocently loving Loki in his way (he's not even brave enough to kiss Loki yet). Shy, blushing young boy Balder, basically.

Thor, the older brother, is a little different. He prevents the beatings when he's around, playing up being angry at Loki and wanting to punish the servant his own way, and then he brings Loki to his room or to the stables or wherever and they pretty much get it on while no one's watching. Can be dub-con for Loki, or passive non-con, but Thor is very sweet and gentle even if passionate.

Writer's choice if the brothers find out about one another, and how Loki feels about all this.

* * *

><p><em>"<em>_They hurt you again." he reaches for the other boy's chin, cupping the burn there._

"_They always do." Loki responds, just the tiniest bit more annoyed than he intended. "It's not like it's such a rare occurence." he adds, with a slight smile. "You don't need to act so surprised, Balder."_

_Balder flushes at the sight of Loki smiling down at him and looks away, quickly withdrawing his hand as the younger man leans his head just slightly in his hand._

_"If I-when I'm in charge of my own house...I'd never treat my servants like this."_

_"Alas, I am bound to this house and to all those who make their lodgings here." Loki said quietly, his eyes looking past him. His eyes sadden for a moment._

_"Here, Loki. Come back to my rooms with me-I think I have something for that."_

_Loki beamed at him, and wrapped his arms around his flustered master._

_"I am lucky to have someone as kind as you, to mix the good with the bad," he breathes into his ear. "You are too kind to me, Master Balder."_

_Balder, even after he is released, for the briefest moment, is frozen in his embrace._

_"It is no trouble." he says quietly, long after Loki has left the room._

* * *

><p>If Loki closes his eyes, he can pretend that he is somewhere else, anywhere else, than under the furious gaze of Heimdall, one of the headservants of the house, who's always seemed to have it out for him. It had been an accident really, and already he'd forgotten exactly what he was late for. The large, brawny man blames it on him 'lollygagging away, <em>bullshitting<em> with the damn horse, _again_, and of course he's right. He always is.

If he shuts his ears(not literally of course, lest he strengthen the man's wrath) he can pretend he does not hear the man's insults. But he's never learned to block out the blows that rain down on him whenever he manages to 'embarass' the house of Asgard again.

The first strike catches him in the lip as he makes his perfunctory attempt to make up some lie or some excuse, anything to prevent it from happening.

Heimdall's next blow hits him in the stomach, knocking the wind out of him, and bending him over, making him feel as though he has to vomit. As he curls into himself on his knees the roar of Heimdall's voice shatters all his defenses.

_Always, always, so fucking stupid. _Sometimes he thinks it would be better if he just disappeared-surely it would be better for everyone then.

"_Heimdall!_"

But of course it wouldn't be. Not if Thor had anything to say about it.

The head turns to see the son of the Master of the House, Thor Odinson, the stare he was giving him enraged.

"What do you suppose your doing, Heimdall?" Thor says, his gaze hard and imperious

"Disciplining Loki again." the man replies smoothly. "He was caught slacking yet again."

"And you thought the task better suited to you?"

"Master Thor, it was your honor and the honor of this house that I-"

"Have you forgotten that Loki is servant to me and my brother alone? That I have told you before that his discipline was assigned to me? That _I_ am to punish him as _I _see fit. "

Heimdall gives him a long, hard look before he bows his head towards Loki again who is just regaining his breath. Loki meets his eyes, and Heimdall's eyes warn him of all the atrocities he will face should he see him alone. He then turns back to the young Odinson with a bow.

"Forgive me, Master Thor. I leave him in your hands now." he acquieses, shoving Loki to his feet and towards him. Thor takes him by the shoulder without a word, jerking him violently through the hallway until he reaches one of the spare rooms he has.

"Thor-please, forgive me, I-"

"I don't want to hear it. Shut up for a bit, Loki." Thor breathes into his mouth and gives him a hard, bruising kiss that has Loki gasping for breath again, his back arching as Thor grabs onto his hair, pulling it at the roots. He makes a weak push at the man's chest in protest before Thor grabs his hands and puts them over his head, so that he squirms underneath his body, trapped against the wall.

His master buries his head into the crook of his neck, breathing heavily.

"Do not resist me this time, Loki."

"Thor..I..." he is breathless again.

The larger man's hand find themselves hooked onto the servant's pants, pulling them down, as he moves likewise towards his own pants.

"No, Loki."

Loki supposes that he should be used to this by now, should be used to Thor's ministrations, to his tugs and fondlings. He guesses, that today must have been a lot harder for him than usual, because normally he is much gentler than he is being now.

Today though, his grip is crushing at his thighs, and he pulls his legs around his waist so that Loki is slightly elevated and not long after, forgoing his normal moves at foreplay, Thor is thrusting into him, almost violently but still managing to curl his hands softly in his hair, muttering sweet nothings into his ear.

He imagines that he should be grateful that Thor cares about him in this way-it is better than what the other servants do to him. After all, Master Thor is sweet and gentle most of the time, and he cares about him, so it isn't so bad. He is somewhat entitled to it, even.

Loki stares out the window on the other side of the room, blocking out the sound of Thor's soft grunts and moans and gives a small sigh. No, he thinks, it isn't so bad. Not if Thor loves him the way he says.

* * *

><p>Um, Omg this isn't as good as I want it to be! Please, forgive me! And Thor really isn't being, well...<em>that <em>mean I guess. Tell me what you think please! Btw, the strike at the beginning of part one was meant to be just small not crossed out. (Weird dialogue, cuz I'm copying and pasting from livejournal so...)


	2. Chapter 2

The next morning, Loki is careful to be extremely vigilant whenever a member of the house needs a horse, and takes extra care to not pamper Slepnir today. And most especially, to be wherever Heimdall_ isn't_. The man is certain to be on the lookout for him now, after he escaped his grasp yesterday. The headservant has a talent for holding grudges for the smallest of slights. But then, most of the household has that talent wherever he's concerned. It's a lesson Loki has been forced to learn the hard way.

He frowns at the thought. "I guess it's just me and the horse shit today then." he says with an exasperated sigh. He bends over to shovel yet another pile up, when he hears a jovial call, and the sound of rapid hooves. He hides the wince from the pain Thor left in his spine to straighten and give a small wave to Balder, Thor's younger brother. Instantly, Loki feels as if his day has brightened.

He rushes towards Balder's horse to help him off. He notices the way his master turns away from him just slightly, his face covered in heat when he beamed up at him.

"Are you overtired from the ride, Master Balder?"

Balder slides down as Loki leads his steed to the stalls.

"I told you not to be so formal with me, Loki." he mumbles and the servant laughs.

"If Heimdall ever heard me refer to you as simply, 'Balder', I'm afraid he'd lock me in the cellar for a month." He was only half-joking.

"Heimdall can be taught a lesson in etiquette himself the way he walks around as if ihe/i were Father or something."

"I suppose guarding the house against peasants has a way of bloating one's head." Loki remarks offhandedly, making Balder give a small laugh.

As they put the horse back Loki feels another sharp pain in his side again and has to lean against the stall for support. He hadn't meant to make it so obvious, but the pain had come out of nowhere and blinded him. Now, he hastened to brush it aside as Balder immediately expressed concern, offering a hand to help him.

"It is nothing." he said quickly before he could say anything.

"Which one of them was it this time?" Balder's flash for the briefest moment, and it is odd to see such a look of anger on the usually peaceful and shy blond.

_Your brother,_ Loki wants to say, and instantly he is reminded of Thor's roughness lately. His almost frantic possesiveness. He cannot understand it. Thor never acted this way with him-even if Loki didn't want it, he could still say that his older master was always kind to him, and in his own way, tried to make their trysts as painless as possible. He couldn't imagine why he was acting this way. He gave an inward laugh at the absurdity of how he preferred to be-preferred to be-

"Loki." Balder brings him from his thoughts. "Who was it?"

His hands are all over him again, his voice a harsh whisper, his whimpers of protest unheard beneath the soft and gentle chidings. As if he were some kind of child. As if this were just a misunderstanding.

He can see the firelight flickering, giving off shadows that make them look like two monstrous animals.

"It-it is nothing."

"_Loki_," he insists.

"Truly, Master Balder." Loki gives him a radiant smile that causes him to flush. "It was my own fault. Please. Do not concern yourself with me."

Balder gives off the faintest of frowns. "I do not want any of them to hurt you." He is suddenly much closer. "If anyone is bothering you-I-I want to be able to stop them."

_Oh, Balder. You are much too kind to scold even the lowliest of servants. You couldn't possibly_.

Loki's smile turns sad for the fraction of a second. "Don't be silly, Heimdall would eat you alive. And could you even imagine how Sif would react to a scolding?" Balder's lips perk up just the slightest before he falls back, realizing how close he was to Loki. His skin tints red once again.

"I-perhaps we can do something up the pain anyway?" he asks shyly. "Mother has taught me remedies for stomachaces and bruises..."

"What remedy hasn't your mother thought up? Loki asks playfully as they make their way out of the stall and towards the house. Leaning casually against his arm, Loki gives a content sigh. "You're my _hero_." he swoons in a high-pitched girly voice. Balder, flustered, trips, nearly landing on his face, causing Loki to laugh raucously.

"Flirting, are we?"

Loki blanches and is temporarily speechless, the laugh snatched from his lips.

Balder beams up at his brother, trying to hide his embarassment. Loki stepped just slightly away from Balder so they were not as close, with a quick glance at his other master who was astride his horse, looking hot and sweaty from a long ride, with a curious glint in his eye as he looked down at the both of them. Thor hid his annoyance with a smile at his younger brother however.

"What brings you here so late, brother?" Balder asked.

"I believed I heard some pretty giggling, and thought I'd come to find a pretty maiden or something. Alas, I only find two sweaty farm boys." he replied with an eyeroll. "Who seem to have a fondness for falling all over each other," he added with a narrowed glance at his younger brother.

Loki wondered idly how many times Balder could go cherry-red in one day.

"Master Balder was just helping me in dealing with some of my more greivous injuries..." Loki explained half-jokingly a small, uncertain smile given to Thor.

"Yes, I heard that Heimdall has quite the stern hand." Thor cut him off quickly, with a quick glance at Balder who was still staring awkwardly at the ground, after his last joke. "Has he bothered you since?"

"no..."

"Have any of the others?"

Loki shook his head.

"That's very good then. Come, help me with my horse."

"Yes, Master Thor."

"But brother can't it wait?" Balder protested to both of their surprise. "Loki-he is hurt and needs to be seen to."

Thor turned to him with surprising anger. "Loki will do what he is bid to, not what you may think is needed. Anything else can wait until after we're done."

Balder stares at him for a moment, before giving a slow nod, his protests and disagreements dying on his lips, too skittish to say anything. "I-I will see you after, then, Loki." he spares them a parting glance as he turns from them.

...

"Are you still in pain?" Thor queries once they are in the stalls, alone.

Loki rubs the horse's flank before answering. "It doesn't matter."

Thor grabs his wrist. "_Tell me_." he demands.

Loki offers him an exagerrated sigh. "_Yes,_ Thor. My stomach-it-hurts me sometimes, but it's the...lower pains that bother me the most."

Thor wraps his arms around him abruptly, pressing him against the wall. "Forgive me." he says softly into his ear. "I did not mean it."

Loki sighs again, placing his hand in Thor's hair. "I know it."

"I love you."

Loki does not respond.

"Meet me in my rooms tonight, I want to see you before I go off with my father tomorrow."

This time, Loki shakes his head, eyes suddenly frantic. Had he not heard a word he'd just said.

"Thor, I-I can't."

"That was not a request, Loki."

His voice is suddenly low, dangerous, his gaze hard.

Loki feels his breathing sharpen. "I-it _hurts_ Thor." he admits weakly. "It hurts so much." He is not just talkin about the soreness.

"I will make sure you'll enjoy it this time. I promise."

"_No._"

Thor's grip on his wrist is sudden, violent, gripping, he twists it until he fears that it may snap beneath its stength. "You will enjoy it this time. I will make you happy."

"No."

The wrist feels as if it is breaking in two. "You _will_. Do you understand me?"

"No!"

"_Loki!_" Thor's voice has lost it's pleading.

He crumples, leaning into the heir's large shoulder, tears threatening to spill over his cheeks. "okay. Okay."

Thor's face softens. "I'm sorry. But I need you tonight. I love you."

He avoids his eyes as Thor plants a kiss on his brow. "I can't wait to see you again."

"I-it will be my pleasure Ma-Thor." It isn't completely a lie. The smile he recieves is one of indulgent joy.

"You will get better, Loki. Mother has the best remedies for sickness." Thor says with a smile, and Loki offers one back. But then the older one's eyes narrow just the smallest amount.

"My brother-do you like him?"

Loki is thrown for a brief second. "Why, Mas-Balder(Thor has warned against using honorfics when they are alone) is very kind to me. He is-(he is aware of how Thor's look has turned into more of a glare) like a brother to me." he fibs lamely. Truth be told, he doesn't know how he feels about the younger Odinson. But from the way Thor beams at his answer he knows he has said what is most helpful for both of them.

small I'm so sleepy right now. I hope this was good. And I hope you like Thor. I tried to make him sort of deluded about this whole situation. And Balder-oh, I like him./small


	3. Chapter 3

a/n: Here we are. Suffering a small amount of writer's block. I'm also supposed to be writing an essay and it's late ar night. I probably should be doing some homework as well. But...eh. It's only my senior year and I only need to pass to graduate. No big deal. I've got my priorites right.

...

Loki has a red mouth and hair that is swept around his cheekbones and catches the sharp but delicate features of his face, his eyes giving off what is almost a feminine seductiveness, so Balder used to tell himself that it was this that caused his heart to race, and his face to heat up whenever he was around him. Perhaps it'd been a sort of confusion about the boy's mascuinity that had first drawn him to him. Or perhaps, it was merely something that was destined to happen.

Either way, Balder dreaded what his father-or, worse yet, his brother would think of such perverse thoughts.

...

Thor's friends are gathered around him when Balder enters the room, and as they turn to look at him, he feels that all-too familiar feeling of awkwardness he gets whenever he encounters them. The three of them-Volstagg, Hogun, and Fandral, are all warriors, experienced in battle and though they don't directly state it, see him as a sort of runt-Thor's kid brother, not to be taken too seriously, only worth notice because of his brother's noteriety and thus deserving the bare minimum of attention and recognition. It's embarassing, and awkward and he'd do anything to avoid these moments when the air in the room thickens and they give him the mildly amused looks they would give children that are trying to impress them. And yet-if Balder is perfectly honest with himself, these are the only things he has that are close to friends, hand-me-downs though they are, and so he bears with them.

His brother is in the middle of one of his many tales of battle, this one being a more recent anecdote, and a particularly thrilling and brutal one about his latest trip with Father.

Thor gestures with his hands, demonstrating an especially violent killing he performed on one of the Jotunn clan rebels that apparently involved breaking his neck _and_ had something to do with a burning torch in a not too-pleasant place.

There has always been the smallest bit of resentment and envy between he and Thor-though he looks up to his brother and admires him more than anything, he has always felt that Father has always favored and loved him more. And the fact that, Balder is not yet old enough to go into battle and earn his own glories and esteem the way his brother has, that he isn't too much talented with the sword in any case, doesn't soften his father's look on him.

Thor is everything that Balder wishes he was-confident, adventurous, and-if the rumours are true-quite the talent in bed. Just last night.(Balder himself has yet to so much as touch lips with a woman. Or otherwise.)

They are all laughing and having a jolly old time and Balder is feeling significantly out of place, when the subject at hand suddenly turns to sex.

"So do the rumours of you and the Lady Sif have any validity?" Fandral inqurires and his Volstagg's face lights up mischeviously. Hogun gives a sigh that clearly indicates that he finds the conversation childish.

Thor gives a smirk at that. "They had validity long ago my friend, but I'm afraid things quite dull after she stopped being able to walk for two days."

Deep grunts of laughter fill the room, and Balder blushes, giving a glance at his feet.

Volstagg spies this. "Ah, young Balder and have you found yourself indulging in any of the young maidens that scurry around your household?"

Before he answers, Thor gives an abrupt laugh. "You will find little of interest in him, Volstagg. My brother prefers spending his time with the horses and servant boys, than in the company of a a warm body."

Balder knows his brother is joking, and yet there is something in his eyes that unnerves him. It bothers him, and for a second, he finds that there is nothing that he can say to that. Nothing he can say, that will silence the condescending smirks that give him, and the overpowering shame and embarassment that comes with it.

...

_His normally pale skin is flushed against the light, his mouth slightly agape, but still he tries to muffle any noise, putting his mouth to his wrist, and biting down, his eyes only half open. The heat consumes him as he thrusts in and out, and his green eyes swallow him, devouring him until he is lost in it, and he buries his face into his neck, licking the indention there, and the one beneath him finally releases a suppressed moan, rutting against him, his soft, hands gripping his hair._

_A sheen of sweat covers their bodies, and the only sound in the room is of their soft moans and the occassional yelp of pleasure._

_Finally, time stands still, and white comes crashing around them._

_Loki is breathless as he looks at him, a content and loving smile on his face. _

_Balder... he breathes, and for a moment, he discovers what it means to be happy._

Balder awakens with a jolt, his pants stained and rapidly cooling, his body sticky and overwarm.

He looks out at the moon, solid and inconstant, and ever, relatably, alone.

a/n:Yeah, I have no idea why I'm so fucking boring. I suck. Sorry. but, this is what moved me, and I hope I'm getting the characterizations right, and I hopesez you enjoys. :)


	4. Chapter 4

a/n:9/11/12 I am the absolute worse person in the world for taking so goddam long to update. I'm thoroughly ashamed that I haven't even touched half of my fics in almost a year. I humbly beg your forgiveness and hope people are still watching. I'm planning to do a bulk update on all of my stories, so hopefully this is updated the same time as the others. I've just entered my first year of college at Long Beach City, so I may not have as much time as I'd like, but I've had more than enough time off already I think. Hopefully, the style hasn't gotten too out of rhythm since last I updated.

Chapter Four

"But, Father, I have just as much right to fight as Thor!" Balder glares at his father, seething. It is a dishonor to be sitting at home, when the others are fighting and defending their lands. It is _shameful._ (And he had seen the way Loki had sometimes glanced at Thor in his armor.)

"I have told you before, Balder, you are more valuable to me here." Odin said wearily, sweeping into the other room. "I cannot have the entire family off to battle-what if the both of you were killed? Who would take care of our legacy?" He is adding that last part, trying to build it up, but Balder sees right through it.

"You mean for me to have me look after the house, while _Thor_ gains all of the glory? And wasn't it _his_ actions that escalated the situation this far? And yet you would parade him around as though he were some kind of _hero-_"

"_Silence!"_ his father snapped finally. "I wil hear no more of your jealous prattlings. You will fight when the time is right, Balder, and not a moment sooner."

Balder sat in silence as his father swept from the room.

...

"I don't understand why you'd want to go anyway, Balder." Loki was telling him, as they made their way toward the stable. "It's a bunch of petty bloodshed over past misunderstanding and long-forgotten offenses if you ask me."

Balder shook his head. "It is an insult to our lands and people, and a lesson must be taught to those who oppose us." He is parroting what he has learned and he can see it on Loki's face.

For a moment he lowers his eyes in what might have been shame. It is, after all, Loki's people they are fighting.

"It is a great honor to fight for your family."

"Is it?" his friend replies as they reach the horses, who neigh when they see the dark-haired child.

Balder flushes slightly. "Of course. It's a part of becoming a man."

"Then I suppose I shall never know then." Loki told him with a sad smile. "I don't have a family to make proud myself." _None but Mother, and she is all but lost to me._

There was a silence as Loki helped him into the saddle. "But I often hear tales of Thor's gallantry and courage on the fields." he said finally with a small smile. "Could this be the source of your interest, dear friend?"

Balder's entire face went red. "I-I-don't be ridiculous Loki." He avoided his eyes.

Loki gave a bright laugh, warm like the sun, and as he tilts his head back with the mirth of it. Balder finds himself staring, mouth slightly agape.

_Loki bared his neck to him, his back arching, digging his fingers tightly into his back._

"A little jealousy isn't uncommon my friend."

His fists clenched. "I am _not_." His voice was tremulous and childish and it only made him angrier, though he could not quite say why this was bothering him so much.

For Loki's part, he couldnt't quite figure out why he was being so particularly pushy on this subject either, but when he needled, "Are you _sure_? Thor's talents have always been a bit more compelling and outstanding than yours, to be sure." he couldn't help but feel a morbid satisfaction at the way Balder seemed to deflate a little at the thought.

His friend's self-conscious ramblings had, he realized, been grating on him quite a bit. Why should he have to listen to Balder's wishes to kill his family?

_But there _not_ my family. _Loki had to remind himself. _Not really. Not anymore._ He hadn't been well-liked among his people anyway. He was considered a runt, smaller than the other children, and sickly as a babe, his father shamed, and his mother thinking he would die. As he'd gotten older, in part because of his mother's coddling, and the other children's taunting and his own jealousy, he had grown into a rebel, a bit of a brat if he were honest, known for his cruel tongue and devious trickery. He couldn't fight like the others, and so had taken to other talents.

Perhaps this was his comeuppance for those years of unfaltering arrogance...

That's when Loki noticed that Balder had stopped walking beside him and was now standing behind him, face crumpled and hands trembling.

"Oh, come now, friend." he said with a faltering smile. "I was only joking." Balder simply continued to stare at him with the same dejected and tense expression.

"Everyone always talks about what a great warrior Thor is. How brave and strong he is." his voice was quiet, barely audible. "But compared to who? There are loads of soldiers and fighters and big, courageous tits like him fighting." he added bitterly. "And besides, how can they say he's better than me when they won't even let me fight?"

Loki felt a surge of affection for his friend then. True, no one could deny that there was more than a hint of jealousy behind Balder's words, but this was so out of character for him that he couldn't help the slight, exasperated smile that came to his face.

"Oh, hush up." Loki told him, bringing a hand to his face. "I'm sure you're just as good a fighter as him, and you'll be able to prove it when needed."

Balder looked up from where he cupped his cheek, and gave a slow nod. "Be calm, Balder, and don't let it cause you to think less of yourself. Besides," he added as an afterthought, "Who's going to give me company while you're away?"

The boy's face finally broke out into a halting smile, and he took his face out of Loki's hand.

_There, that's better. _Loki thought to himself. _I was being cruel._

There was no need to be angry at Balder when he was only frustrated. Balder was always kind, he always listened, he had never tried to hurt him, had never tried to-

But then Balder did a strange thing.

Clasping the hand that Loki had placed on his face, he leaned in, planting a soft kiss on his nose.

"You always say such nice things." he said quietly with a soft blush. "I-I don't know what I'd do if I didn't have your friendship."

Loki feels as if he's going to be ill. Because now Balder has turned an even deeper red at his silence, and his hand is trembling in his, his emerald eyes wide in surprise, his lips quivering.

Balder ducks out of his hands with a nervous laugh, finally mounting his horse, urging it on, and Loki can remember the first time it happened.

Thor had been flirting with him for weeks. At first Loki had played along because he'd always harbored some feelings for his master, and after all, he should be flattered shouldn't he?

Thor flirted with nearly everyone anyone(most of them women, to be sure) and he hadn't thought anything could possibly come of it.

Thor was the honored heir of the most powerful family in the land.

Thor coud have anyone he wanted with a flick of his hand.

Thor had always treated him with respect-he knew where each of them stood, but he'd never been cruel, tried to treat him with as much kindness as possible, his touches firm, and his vague attempts at what would amount to courting insistent,

And one night, Thor had cornered him while he was drunk, pawing at his clothing and ignoring his protests.

And how could Loki refuse him? He had a mother to think of, and he couldn't afford to risk Thor's wrath in this state and be removed for displeasing him.

The heir's rough hands grabbed him, pulled him, and spread him as if he was one of the tavern whores that he frequently bedded.

Loki had been reading before he came in(he read anything he could get his hands on; Thor knew this, and had even given a few to him as gifts, back when his hands were soft and pureposeless) and in the flurry of movement since he had come in, they had fallen to the ground, scattering all over the place, disrupting the tidiness that Loki had prided himself on.

_"I want you." _he had said simply and he had taken what he wanted and, later-when Loki's blood stained the sheets and Thor had come out of his drunken slumber-he had called it love. He had grinned at him, praised him even, and Loki felt himself, a part of himself that he had guarded for his entire life crumble and turn to dust.

But Balder...sweet, kind, Balder, who blushed at every compliment, who could barely stand the sight of blood, who remained so far untainted by war, he could never be what Thor was. Could not look at him with lust, wouldn't taint himself by laying with another man. With a sigh, Loki brought his arms to his chest as if shielding himself.

He knew all this as true, that Balder would never dare look at him in such a manner, that his fears were baseless and mad.

(But he had thought the same about Thor, too.)

a/n: 5/24/13 Well, hopefully that wasn't complete and total crap. I'm planning on updating several other stories as well, so I hope you guys enjoyed this. Also, I'm going to be posting all new stories to my Archive of Our Own account under the name, Fan(Fan_Nehan_Shinzui34) so while I do plan on finishing all of my stories here, I'm going to post all new work to that account, so if you wish to see newer writings from me, I'd suggest you mostly look there. I may or may not post new stuff here occasionally, depending. Once again, hope you like, and please review. I've had to take a huge break from pretty much all writing, so I'm going to be a little rusty as far as newer updates go.


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